First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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