After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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