the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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