Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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