I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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