maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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