I hate your face
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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