I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
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i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She even gives head with a lisp.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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