JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
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you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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