I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize