Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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