One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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