I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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