Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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