arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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