im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize