Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's rum buckets o'clock
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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