eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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