Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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