forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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