I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My feet surprised me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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