Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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