You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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