"it" just moved
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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