I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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