That's intense
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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