i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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