yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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