After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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