I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize