i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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