I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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