I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize