we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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