He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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