We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
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Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
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All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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