Quick, to the slutcave!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
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Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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