Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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