saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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