I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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