Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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