i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize