I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize