You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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