just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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