You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize