Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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