just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize