Tell her she can't have a vagina
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize