Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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